I've been living for so many years with these thoughts, and decided that my own private little blog might be the best way to deal with them.
I have been married for almost 30 years to a wonderful husband. We have three boys, aged 25, 23 and 19. Both Hubby and I are college graduates. We have both worked all our lives, except while the boys were little and I stayed home or worked part time only. We have a comfortable home in an eastern state, with woods and farmland surrounding us.
When our oldest son was younger, he was a delight. We enjoyed going to his school events, soccer games, boy scouts etc. When he turned 17 he said he had a drug problem and wanted help. We took out a second mortgage and sent him for a year to a Nevada program (not a "boot camp") When he turned 18, two of the staff came back with him for his high school graduation. I can't even describe what the problem is with him. He has been over the past 5 years diagnosed as a narcassitic personality disorder, bi-polar disorder, thief, drug addict, drug salesman..... Now he is 25 yrs old. He is living at home, unemployed. He does not have a car, as mentioned earlier, we are in the "middle of nowhere", including no public transportation. This ends up with a huge Catch22 problem - needs money for a vehicle, but how can he get to a job?
Our middle son has explosive personality disorder, and is a very active pot head. He will tell you that pot is not a bad thing. However, my response is that if you think about it all day long, use it the second you can find/buy it, and do nothing but this....it's a problem. This son (23) also has cerebral palsy which makes it more difficult for him to walk. Where is he? Living on the streets in a city just north of here. He says he doesn't want to, but he refuses to follow one simple rule at our house - no drugs. We are worried sick about him, but when his SSI check comes at the beginning of the month, he spends it fast and furious. By the 7th of the month he's broke again, and that's when we might hear that he's okay. Yes, SSI should drug test.
Our youngest son, 19, is a laid-back outdoorsy kid. He has had beer, and pretty sure tried pot. But he finished his first year of college, and is now working at a camp. He doesn't call much, but is enjoying his life in a mch healthier way than we are. We would also like to escape!
So that's where things stand today, Sunday 7/29/12. Hubby and I just want to escape our lives - and in fact have our house for sale just for that purpose. However, it doesn't seem to be selling. Karma?
